When we throw tradition to the wind, that’s when the real adventure begins
“Traditions change. New ones are scary, but they might be great.”
That’s Noelle Kringle, the female protagonist in Disney’s 2019 Christmas special, Noelle, sharing her words of wisdom. The Santa legacy slated for Noelle’s eldest brother seems unlikely, as Nick prefers leading yogis in a downward-facing reindeer. However, as the story unfolds, his sister Noelle (played by Anna Kendrick) shows signs of inheriting the Santa twinkle, breaking the centuries-old “man in the suit” tradition as the next in line to take over the family business.
Remembering Family Traditions
My favorite childhood memories were centered around a mahogany double pedestal dining table. Nonna Rosa, my maternal grandmother, would serve a Sicilian feast to her immediate family, consisting of my mom, dad, brother, and I, and my uncle, his wife, and their three children.
In my mind’s eye, I can see the underside of the dining table, a place I would hide as my mom and grandmother set the table. A table covered in red linen, the crochet overlay Nonna made for my mom, and clear plastic (of course) to protect them both. My grandmother crocheted one tablecloth each for my cousins and me so that we could have one for our holiday celebrations. I recently found mine preserved in an archival box, its openwork pattern of daisies and diamonds intricately woven into circles. However, I’m unsure if/when I’ll ever put it to use.
The meals were long, drawn-out affairs with multiple courses served family-style. Serving bowls filled with pasta in a meat sauce were typical for Sunday meals. Still, Easter or Christmas meant a special trip to the salumeria for manicotti or ravioli, braciole, and chevelat. And often enough, there would be lasagne, my all-time favorite.
Our multi-generational table may not have always seen eye to eye, but amid the boisterous conversations, there was more laughter than anger. I can almost hear the tinkling of glasses, one relative saying grace, and the giggling whispers below the din.
Making New Traditions
It is a distant memory, especially now that the older generations have passed. And each year since, there have been fewer people to celebrate, as each nucleus moved on to create its own traditions.
Fortunately, I’ve spent these past Christmases with one of my chosen families in California, New Jersey, or Connecticut — beautiful moments I’ll cherish. But this year feels different. I feel different. Maybe it’s an adulting thing, but it doesn’t feel like Christmas at all.
I used to set many expectations on how to celebrate holidays and birthdays, but I’m learning how to let go. Without any expectation, I find myself enjoying the moments with more intention. So this year, I decided to put the brakes on plans to allow the day to unfold slowly and organically.
And as luck would have it, it turned out okay. There were dinners with neighbors and volunteering with friends. A low-commitment commute in cozy slippers and an evening cuddle puddle on the sofa with the meows.
Breaking traditions can be challenging but can also lead to tremendous personal growth. In the case of Noelle, she discovered her life’s purpose, and as for the rest of us, we’ll have to wait and see.
